Flawed and Fabulous: F & F "Learning & Loving Me" Series: Women and Our Hair

A topic that plays a major role in the lives of so many women, especially African American women - Our HAIR! We all have struggled on some level with our hair – what it represents in our lives and the role it plays in our sense of self and sense of beauty. In the next several posts, we would like to share our stories and experiences our ups and downs, and our successes and failures with our hair.

I hate hair!...

Not just my hair, but the fact that anyone has it on their head.

As you can see my journey did not start off on a high note.

For as long as I can remember I have almost always hated the idea of having to "do"my hair. But it seems my hair journey has been the essence of "do." I have done just about everything you can possibly imagine to my hair. From a jeri curl to bleaching, dyeing, bonding, home relaxers, salon relaxers, burnouts, blowouts, sew-ins, braids, twist, bald fades, texturizers, high-lights, to "going natural"- my poor hair follicles have been through it.

HAIR, Who Cares!!

I recently crowned myself the "Queen of Bad Hair Days." I'm now back at that "in between" stage, trying to make the decision on whether I should relax my hair again or let it grow back into its natural state. It's funny how relaxers convince you that you have the easiest, most manageable hair, but a few weeks later remind you that you can no longer "relax" without having to relax.

Most mornings I wake up and look like Don King. If I forget to tie my hair down, it has a fit. Me and my combs have verbal disagreements. Well, the conversations are usual one sided - me cursing and the comb bending..... its such a painful hassle.

This is what I woke up looking like, yeah I forgot to tie her down.

Wigs ya Digs....

The thing I have come to realize is that my hair is a direct link and reflection of who I am. I am multidimensional, indecisive, ever-changing, artistic, free and can adapt to most any environment.
I kind of look at my hair as a complete accessory. Actually, I wish it was more like a hat or scarf, something I can snatch off right before I go to bed, and throw on when I go out.

Maybe that is where my love for wigs comes from. As a performing artist, I found a little more confidence in wearing wigs. It cuts down on prep time, I never have to wear it the same way, and it brings out my inner diva. Way before we knew who Nikki Minaj was I was rocking purples, blues, reds, and any color that fit my mood.

On the Stage, trust me, the wig was giving me life.

I am actually a little more comfortable in extravagant colorful wigs than in natural hair color wigs and weaves. The purpose of me wearing wigs is not to pretend the hair is mine, but to accent, exaggerate, and elevate my image. I have tried long, short, wavy, straight, and layered natural colored wigs. I like the natural looks, but am more comfortable is a loud, expressive, and unnatural color like "blurple".

When I was modeling, I remember reading Tyra Bank's "Beauty Inside and Out", trying to figure out the shape and dimensions of my face to determine what hair length and styles would work best for me. I couldn't tell if my face was the oval shaped or the long shaped dimension. So I took it upon myself to declare myself an oval shaped, only because the book said any style would work with that shape.

I think I may have a "shape-shifting" head and face, because I have literally tried every style and I would be darned if they didn't work, in my opinion. I guess over the years I have built a confidence in my physical appearance that allows me to explore, accept, rock whatever I feel.

My Naturally UnNatural Self

When it comes to the hair that actually grows from my scalp, I am just as indecisive if not more about style, length, and color. Every since I started actually caring for my own hair I have had a relaxer, so I think relaxing my hair is more of a comfort and habit than anything else. My go to relaxed style is short and sweet. From a classic pixie style to a modern mullet or mohawk, I have spent most my years in this style.

Low and Easy

The easiest way to wear my hair has always been to cut it low and start all over again. No waking up looking like every night was a wild night. I could jump up and go at anytime without all the maintenance. Something about my short hair is empowering. It makes me feel elegant and strong.

Luckily I have a descent size head for a close cut.

I "kink" I can

In 2010, I made an effort in going "natural" along with my big sis and mom. It seemed easy at first, partially because I am use to having low cut hair. Getting use to my tight resistant grade of hair was a struggle but I made it 7 months and then the kinks finally needed to be set free.

I actually liked my natural hair, only thing was it felt a little bit boring. But now as I watch my sister and mom have so much freedom in their natural looks, I am getting that ole natural feeling again.

That's me, the one without the natural hair. Wearing the hat because I couldn't decide what to do with my relaxed hair.

When All Else Fails, Just Cover it Up

So as you can see my journey in hair is never-ending and ever-changing. Until I can make up my mind, which may never happen, there will always be scarves and hats.