Working Mothers... Seriously?... Don't Even Get Me Started!!!

First of all, I can't believe this issue is one, "an issue," and that it is even up for debate.  First, it was about whether we, women, have the right to decide if and when we want to have children. Now, it's about how we "mother" when we do have children. I'm not sure how or why my uterus or my "soccer mom" schedule has become fodder for such an irrelevant debate.

To say, "working mom" is redundant.  All moms work. To be a mom is to work.  And the good ones work damn hard and around-the-clock.  So maybe the labels (since our society is obsessed with labeling everything and everybody) to be placed on women in these positions should be "away from home" moms and "at home" moms. Although, no label should be required.

The only difference is the capacity in which we "serve" and perform in our roles as the center of our children's lives during the hours between 9:00 am and 5:00 pm (or whatever our work schedule outside the home maybe).

Every hour spent at home, at the office, in route to here or there; wherever we are, we are working for our children. As a mother, every decision I make and move I take during my "work day" is for the welfare and benefit of my children.

I have three beautiful children and making the decision to return to work outside our home has never gotten any easier.  Making the choice to leave my children in the care of someone else is a heart wrenching one when you think about missing the sweetest coos, the uninhibited laughter, and the moments of innocent brilliance my children add to my life.  My choice should not be questioned or judged by anyone, especially by those who have no idea of what it takes and how it feels to make this decision.

Every woman is different and, in this country, every woman has a choice.  And like most choices and decisions we as women make in our lives (on a daily basis sometimes), choosing to stay at home or work outside the home after having a child is never a decision made lightly, without deep consideration and thought, and lots and lots of soul-searching.

Having done both (at-home and away-from-home), I can say that my children, my family, myself, and our lives are better because I choose to work outside our home.  When weighing the pros and cons of returning to work after having each of my children, I realized how my emotional and mental well-being impacted not only the quality of my life, but my children's lives as well.  Having an outlet, my profession, separate from my home life in which to channel my personal and intellectual aspirations and goals, provides a balance and "peace of mind" that allows me to mother contently.  There may be some that believe being "just a Mom" should provide all the contentment I need to live life fully and happily.  However, who established the rule that women were meant to and only capable of serving successfully in one capacity?
Don't get me started...




I refuse to waste precious time wondering if my choice to be an "away from home" mom has damaged, temporary or permanent, my children's lives.  I can only focus on filling the time I do have with them with joy, laughter, learning, fun, memory making, and lots of cuddle sleeping.

For my life and their lives, I decided that one of the best things I can do for them as their mother is to teach and show them by example the importance of hard work, dedication, persistence, and integrity.  For my girls especially, it is important that I am a role model for all the things a woman can be because of the choices we are able and capable of making for ourselves.

I am a first-generation college graduate plus a Masters and Doctorate.  Being able to share this accomplishment with my children and how it benefits our family made all the long days and nights going to class, writing papers, and conducting research worth it. With my youngest still "in tow" as I walked across the stage, I know they will appreciate the importance of this moment when they are older.


Dr. Latifah Cobb